Frayed at the edges …

This is the first blog on this site since Christmas. Well, let’s just say I haven’t ‘published’ anything. I have written a couple of pieces but my my words seemed not worthy for the chaos the world is enduring at the moment. In fact I’ve moved through various emotions and feelings in the last six months, some times feeling hopeful and at other times panicked. But mostly my senses have been a little frayed at the edges.

Being frayed at the edges feels like waiting for something to happen that will provide assurance or fix the problem. And when this doesn’t eventuate in a time frame to  alleviate discomfort, anxiety is created that manifests both physically and emotionally. Equally, I think that occurs in our communities. Of course, we all react differently, depending on personal coping mechanisms and the level perceived or real threat.

Recently, a family member’s partner tested positive to Covid-19, which meant they had to quarantine together. The risk of the other member contracting the virus was very high. So for over two weeks we waited, from afar, for symptoms to manifest. The infected partner’s symptoms remained reasonably mild and the other person waited for their turn! Finally, and a little miraculously, the tests came back negative and they were both finally cleared. The relief was immense, for them and the family.

The stress that our family (and others in similar situations) carried during this time extended above the frustration of general isolation and restrictions. The concern of not being able to help or see our younger family members should they become seriously ill or need hospitalisation was immense. We suddenly became helpless and at the mercy of the an insidious virus and a game of chance.

As I write this today, I’m grateful. I’m also relieved for our personal situation but so aware of  others going through the same ghastly and helpless feelings and not being able to do a darn thing about it. Our situation could have been much worse but it took me to a place that certainly left me, a little frayed at the edges!


About Heathermargaret

I'm a writer and the author of Finding Eliza, 2018. I'm currently working on my second novel.
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5 Responses to Frayed at the edges …

  1. Maureen Riches says:

    A very touching piece of writing Heather. It is good to record what we are going through while it is actually happening. The photo suits the writing beautifully too.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Dianne Jacono says:

    Oh Heather, thank you for articulating the things we are all feeling. I’m sorry to hear of your especially stressful family situation of quarantine.
    It’s so generous of you to put into words the ambient sense of anxiety, of waiting and helplessness that so many of us feel. It’s like we’re all holding our collective breath. And there’s only so long breath can be held, normal life can be suspended, before detrimental affects will overwhelm you.
    For my part, I have been feverishly making mixed media artworks (assemblages) commenting on these extraordinary times. Miss you. Hugs, Di

    Liked by 1 person

  3. imogen88 says:

    Yes, you have put words to the feelings, Heather, and can only say how pleased to hear all worked out okay. But still, that feeling of helplessness! Lovely photo, and good piece to read, thank you for sharing it, Monika xo

    Liked by 1 person

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