Some skills we never lose…

Posted on April 10, 2024 by Heathermargaret

Recently I began watching a series on television called the Great British Sewing Bee. A contest to find the best sewer of a group of selected contestants using a process of elimination each week. Young, old, male and female compete under grueling time conditions to create garments to impress the judges. I was seduced immediately into the world of sewing. None of this was new to me, I had sewed my heart out as younger person and up until life became too busy, I suspect. Then the sewing machine gathered dust in a back cupboard only to be aired for the odd mending or hem alteration.

And so, as the series (I started by watching back series) progressed I became aware of how much I knew about sewing, seams, fabrics and patterns. My shelved skills and knowledge that had been left behind as a by product of newer interests, work and life were suddenly alive for me. I found myself offering advice to the contestants, ‘no, just trim it, you don’t have time to unpick it’ or ‘measure first, you can’t unpick lace’ and ‘you should have tacked those set in sleeves’.

And of course, you know what happened next. Yes, you guessed. I am enthused and decide to make something. Out came the machine, a little bit of oil and it was running as smoothly as ever. A visit to the fabric store, no pattern, I was determined to cut my own pattern. Not only had my enthusiasm returned but my confidence and appreciation of my abandoned skills felt empowering. Maybe I hadn’t given full credit to my original creative ventures, maybe I strived for what I thought at the time, were more valued pursuits.

How many of us leave behind interests, knowledge and creative pursuits and deem them as not important or irrelevant? The same could be said about knitting, painting, writing and even cooking. We don’t perhaps value these often female skills and we abandon them as if they mean nothing. And yet the joy of knowing how to a knit a jumper, sketch an outline for a new painting or cutting out a set of pyjamas in a fine jersey fabric is an appreciation of self and the skills that we never forget.

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Self publishing, ageing and writing!

Posted on November 24, 2023 by Heathermargaret

I am publishing my second novel Issie Mac in a couple of weeks time. Okay, it’s taken a while, actually it’s been five years since my first book Finding Eliza was published. And I’m not getting any younger.

Anyway my second book Issie Mac is in the throes of being published. I’m a self publishing author who has decided to back myself and take all the risks of sending a book out to the public with the assistance of a few skilled professionals. Sometimes, I challenge my own decisions along the way but mostly I’m happy with the results so far.

With my first book I used industry professionals for each stage of the process. I had an editor, who was experienced in many aspects of bringing a book through the different iterations of editing and proofing to the actual stages of book preparation and completion. Type setting choices, book cover design and options around online publishing, printing on demand and traditional printing all fitted together before the birth of my book. This time it’s similar but I am across the processes a little more and feel I know how it works.

But my first journey into self publishing was hard work. Getting it right and ensuring that the standard was acceptable was high priority for me. I decided to go it alone for the following reasons. I was a first time novelist in my sixties, I had another career behind me and my qualifications were not in writing, editing or literature despite having been an avid reader all my life and also dabbling in writing for many years. So, my logic was this; a mainstream publisher was not going to look sideways at me, too mature, no runs on the board and not enough time left to become a useful writer for the future! Occasionally, in my wildest dreams I did think by some divine intervention that I might land a book deal, but when my senses returned, I quickly weighed up the possibilities and decided not to waste my time.

And yes, the outdated discrimination and snobbery directed to self publishing writers does feel uncomfortable at times. On the other hand I am my own boss and I like the independence it gives me. If I mess it up, I am to blame but when all goes well I have a sense of achievement. But that doesn’t mean I always feel confident, the fact is, I second guess my decisions often. However, I think self publishing is suited to my personality. I’ve always liked a challenge but have high standards. I need to know how processes work and research until I have a handle on the big picture. On the other hand, I worry and when having those low self esteem moments I tell myself that I should have tried harder to find a traditional publisher, perhaps my work isn’t what it should be etc. etc.

But all the self doubting aside, self publishing is a credible thing to do providing you follow a few sensible guidelines. Always, yes always, use a professional editor. Sure it’s a biggish cost but it’s the only way I am confident that my work is moving toward a standard and will be credible in the long run. I also choose beta readers for their expertise in the issues I’m writing about or their ability and tenacity to read critically. I cringe when I hand over the manuscript in it’s early draft rawness, but for me the results are invaluable. My one rule is to be hard on myself and my work. Writing is for most authors, a long slog. If it hasn’t been a slog I know it’s not ready.

And then when the book finally emerges the angst starts all over again. What will the readership think of it? Did I do enough? But mostly, I have a sense of accomplishment. Self publishing can do that, I’ve found. Age is no barrier but not doing the homework is.

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The Balance of Ageing

Posted on July 12, 2022 by Heathermargaret

Yesterday I had a discussion with friends, all in their late sixties and early seventies, about ageing. When do we consider ourselves old? Is it when we are a particular age or becoming less active and for some, unwell? Do we finally arrive at an emotional place within ourselves that gives us a sense of life balance?

There are many questions about ageing and just as many opinions. But one thing is for sure, when we move into our seventies and eighties we are in the last phase of our lives. There is no disputing that some people live well into their nineties and some even reach a century but they are in a minority. So what does this mean for those of us who are within this demographic?

Does the ageing process bring with it an acceptance of the last stage of life? A time to be grateful, a time to acknowledge achievements and the letting go of life long regrets? Is it a time for reconciliation with self, knowing and liking the person we have become. I suspect for some people this occurs but for others, life events and trauma may get in the way of feeling a sense of fulfillment. There are so many different situations that it’s hard to generalise.

For me, entering the ageing process is allowing me to acknowledge arriving at a wiser place than earlier in my life. With this sense of wisdom comes a calming effect and a balancing out of life issues. Life experience can only be gained by living through it. And that’s my reward.

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Life … it used to so easy!

Posted on May 13, 2022 by Heathermargaret

Friends are about to fly to Europe tomorrow, they haven’t been for over two years but they are taking the plunge into what used to be normal. Another friend is in England, she arrived there two days ago and is languishing in beautiful London, almost not believing she has finally been able to travel again. But in both instances it has required additional planning around compliance with new, different and sometimes confusing and uncertain even, regulations

I’m not intending to travel, but equally, I feel that there is change in the air. And not just Autumnal coolness that has descended with beautiful days, glorious coloured Autumn leaves, that are now covering our front and back lawns, but a shift in how we can proceed from here on. Covid has rendered us all into closed spaces, and limited our capacity to get excited about the next adventure or event in our lives. But we are fighting back, bit by bit, vaccination after vaccination, rat test after rat test and for some of us a mask in some settings is still a sensible option.

We have learnt heaps over this trying and difficult time. Not that I am assuming those times are over but we have as a community been able to combat the hopelessness we were confronted with two years ago with the development and introduction of world wide vaccinations that seem to be in some countries, making a difference. I still feel concerned about our winter and what that might bring but but it’s a healthy concern not complicated fear. So, what have I learnt?

I’m now more grateful for small things, like the glorious sunset outside my front window right now and the fluttering of falling leaves, the young women I saw earlier today buying party drinks at the wine shop for their party tonight, plans to paint my kitchen, meetings and coffee with writer friends, the football on the television and just seeing family without the threat of a lock down any time. In fact, I’m trying to make life easier again but with a bit more meaning attached to it, perhaps.

As I said, I’m not intending to travel in the near future but I can’t wait to hear travel stories from friends who are doing so. Stories about places and people who have themselves experienced life being tough in the last couple of years.

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Oh to be a Muso!

Posted on July 17, 2021 by Heathermargaret

Whenever I hear and watch musicians I’m filled with longing. Longing for a talent that I haven’t been fortunate to have or cultivate. The ability to express through instrument and voice is pure joy. I know this because when I’m home alone, I sing loudly and without inhibition! It doesn’t matter if I get the words wrong, sing off key or hit the wrong notes occasionally. What matters is the exhilaration of vocal expression and the feeling of happiness it brings.

The jam session had started when we arrived and the salon bar was full, standing room only for the non musicians. We deemed the protocol to be; if you could play an instrument and sing you could join in. Guitars were elbow to elbow, there was a fiddle or two, a bass, a flute, a piano-accordion and couple of ukuleles. And the pub rocked with the glorious sound of musicians playing, singing and toe tapping in tune.

The above is a memory from before Covid, when we spent a couple of days in the beautiful rural Victorian town of Yackandandah. A place special to us because my husband’s ancestors settled there in the 1860’s after migrating from Ireland. Anyway, what does one do in the evenings in Yack? A visit to the local pub was a good start and that’s what we did. The Star Hotel is nothing amazing to look at but it’s where the local and visiting muso’s hung out and where the music scene happened weekly. It was a Wednesday night and billed as ‘Country’ night. Thursday we were told was ‘Blues’ night.

I can’t imagine anything more rewarding than joining with others to make and create a mutual musical experience. Their faces were relaxed as they backed each other in turn to sing or play a piece. They were casual yet serious and relaxed but attentive. On display was a range of skills presented with relative ease. And yet behind each musician, I suspect, lay countless years of learning, practice, experimenting and developing of craft.

And so I’m reminded about the importance of sticking with a passion. The musical world is a good example. Being able to play an instrument with ease doesn’t happen over night, singing in tune with the correct pitch takes time and practice. I’m not sure if natural talent comes into the equation but I’m sure it also plays a role. However, my guess is that doing it over and over again, in other words practice, paves the way to playing skillfully and for ultimate enjoyment.

And so, at the pub at ‘Yack’ we enjoyed the fruits of other people’s persistence, commitment, skill, musical craft and ability. We shared the relaxed atmosphere created by the wonderful musicians’s of Yackandandah.

Posted in Education, Life, Music, People, Relationships, Writing | 2 Comments

Reflection time …

Posted on July 14, 2021 by Heathermargaret

I haven’t blogged for some time. My intentions have been good but somehow the urge passes or is it more that life reflection is hard to capture in words and sentences? I think it’s the latter. Much has transpired in the past eighteen months, life changing events have spun the world upside down and what we took for granted two years ago is no longer so. This post isn’t specifically about covid but it’s fair to say that covid has been a force that’s effected us all profoundly in recent times.

I’ve been reading a book by Julia Baird called ‘Phosphorescence‘. The strap line on this book is ‘On awe, wonder & things that sustain you when the world goes dark’. It’s a beautiful book and raises life issues that I think most of us can relate to. The experience of reading this book challenged me to think more about everyday life, illness, family, friendships and how we human beings, who often don’t have much control over life events, navigate the aftermath of difficult circumstances. As Julia Baird asks, what sustains us?

What is it during these life events that help us through? Is it the talks on the phone to friends and family or the online sessions on just about every imaginable topic? Is it the outside exercise, our own less than perfect backyard gardens or maybe it’s a strong belief in the universe to deliver us from the jaws of the pandemic? Maybe it’s a religious belief or a profound sense in the notion that ‘all things pass’. Or maybe it’s immersing the self in nature, as Julia Baird discusses in her book. Although, I suspect that not all of us can swim in the ocean each day or walk in a rain forest, but we can all have something that gives us hope, lightness and reassurance.

What I mean by reflection, is to to give serious thought or consideration to a situation or a notion. Reflection can also apply to reviewing or thinking back on the past. So, I use the term loosely for the purpose of this writing.

Recently I’ve spoken with several friends who have experienced complicated illness. Conditions that have been challenging and in some cases. I also have to put my hand up for this issue. During the last year, I have faced unwell times that both bothered and worried me. I’m okay but it’s shaken my sense of well being and like my friends in similar but different situations, it’s awakened the notion that good health can’t be taken for granted. In conversation with friends, I’ve noticed how we have dropped into discussing past events in our lives and how those events have effected our current coping strategies. Reflecting on how we manage and what works can be a helpful process and one that sparks new possibilities.

I suspect that being reflective or thinking about what sustains us in life is not something we necessarily do without reason. It’s not until our equilibrium has been unbalanced that we seek out a process to make sense of our situations.

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Frayed at the edges …

Posted on August 23, 2020 by Heathermargaret

This is the first blog on this site since Christmas. Well, let’s just say I haven’t ‘published’ anything. I have written a couple of pieces but my my words seemed not worthy for the chaos the world is enduring at the moment. In fact I’ve moved through various emotions and feelings in the last six months, some times feeling hopeful and at other times panicked. But mostly my senses have been a little frayed at the edges.

Being frayed at the edges feels like waiting for something to happen that will provide assurance or fix the problem. And when this doesn’t eventuate in a time frame to  alleviate discomfort, anxiety is created that manifests both physically and emotionally. Equally, I think that occurs in our communities. Of course, we all react differently, depending on personal coping mechanisms and the level perceived or real threat.

Recently, a family member’s partner tested positive to Covid-19, which meant they had to quarantine together. The risk of the other member contracting the virus was very high. So for over two weeks we waited, from afar, for symptoms to manifest. The infected partner’s symptoms remained reasonably mild and the other person waited for their turn! Finally, and a little miraculously, the tests came back negative and they were both finally cleared. The relief was immense, for them and the family.

The stress that our family (and others in similar situations) carried during this time extended above the frustration of general isolation and restrictions. The concern of not being able to help or see our younger family members should they become seriously ill or need hospitalisation was immense. We suddenly became helpless and at the mercy of the an insidious virus and a game of chance.

As I write this today, I’m grateful. I’m also relieved for our personal situation but so aware of  others going through the same ghastly and helpless feelings and not being able to do a darn thing about it. Our situation could have been much worse but it took me to a place that certainly left me, a little frayed at the edges!

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Another year and we have much to do …

Posted on December 18, 2019 by Heathermargaret

Here we are again, with Christmas a week off and a new year looming. Each December I usually reflect on how well I’ve achieved the goals I’ve set for myself during the year. Well, it doesn’t pay to linger for too long on the past, focus on the year ahead, I say.

But, this year I’ve been particularly troubled by extravagance. So much so, that I’ve tried to curb thoughtless spending (no laughing), by only making minimal purchases and those deemed absolutely necessary. And I’ve also made myself consider where I purchase from, by supporting small businesses, self-employed individuals and rural and regional group enterprises. So far so good, you’re thinking …

Now, I can’t say that I haven’t strayed from this approach at times, I have. I’ve made a couple of online purchases, I’ve spent too much money in large supermarkets, I’ve bought rubbish chocolate because the box looks good and I’ve bought expensive chocolate because I was worried I might run out over Christmas. I bought twice as much cheese as I needed for a platter and spent the next two weeks sending my cholesterol levels through the roof. And, if that’s not bad enough, in a really awful flash back moment, I purchased three more rolls of Christmas paper!

Yes, I can hear you sniggering, but be kind it’s Christmas and I’ve tried! In fact I’m rather exhausted, plugging away trying to be ethical, correct, thoughtful, sensible, anti-consumerist, environmentally sound and feeling like a failure by not always succeeding. But, I’m pleased enough with my efforts this year and I intend to exceed my success rate in 2020.

Seriously, we have to change the way we live our lives, how can we not. To remain complacent is to remain ignorant to the very real risks we face as a nation and a universe. The time for thinking we as individuals, families and communities don’t have a roll to play is over. Yes, we have much to do in the next year.

Have a happy and safe Christmas.

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Book review: Boy Swallows Universe by Trent Dalton

Posted on September 15, 2019 by Heathermargaret

This book, I’m sure, has been reviewed within an inch of its book life. But, I can’t stay silent on this one. By far the most challenging, harrowing and meaningful book I can remember reading in a long time. And I’ve read a few!

The book is full of contradictions, unwavering loyalty, love and steely attachment combined with violent, risky and almost unspeakable happenings. Resilience in all its forms weaves through this tragic but uplifting story. And I’m reminded that, where there is ‘bad’ there is often ‘good’ and we should never forget it.

Eli and August, the two young boys in the story will break your heart but capture you forever. Their lives ricochet between heroin dealers, criminals and parents who have their own hellish demons to conquer.

Trent Dalton, the author of Boy Swallows Universe is undoubtedly a writer and journalist with amazing ability and courage. In an article published by Harper Collins in 2018, Dalton said, ‘All of me is here. Everything I’ve seen. Everything I’ve ever done.’

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Determination and grit…

Posted on July 17, 2019 by Heathermargaret

A few weeks ago my sister completed a half marathon. It’s her second in two years. She ran it over a challenging course in terrible conditions, rain and cold. The trail was difficult, slippery and murky.

Anyway, I was super impressed and admire her success. And it’s not just because she’s my sister or that she’s relatively new to running, it’s because she’s a woman in her sixties (oops, hope I don’t get into trouble for that little bit of info) and she epitomizes the role determination and grit plays in meeting goals. 

We can’t all run half marathons but most people have their sights set on completing something that’s important to them.  Producing a piece of art work, volunteering for a special cause, finishing a course or degree, painting a house or planting that unique garden, are just a few ‘want to do or complete’ dreams that come to mind. How many of us fall short of crossing the finishing line by giving up too early? I know I’m guilty.

However, in light of my sister’s mighty effort, I’ve decided to sharpen my determination and grit tools and proceed toward the finishing line with a few overdue projects! And no, I won’t publish my list just in case I run out of D & G…

 

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